


Who You Are

by IceMakeSnake



Series: HQ!! Verse A [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, Gay Bokuto, M/M, Self-Doubt, anxiety over sexual orientation, pan kuroo, sappy shit - you've been warned, sex mention, tiny mention of Kenma and Akaashi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 08:12:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7837093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IceMakeSnake/pseuds/IceMakeSnake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kuroo's memory is incredibly reliable and he enjoys using it to his advantage, whether it's impressing people at parties with trivia or recalling sentimental moments to be a sap disaster.</p><p>The time his best friend came out to him is one of those memories that stuck.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Who You Are

**Author's Note:**

> Heavily inspired by [this tumblr post](http://gaywrites.org/post/103282930781/icymi-in-which-a-13-year-old-boy-comes-out-to-his) because it really resonated with me and made me think of my two bro disasters like _immediately_.  
>  There’s a lot of sappy bs, I’m sorry. Sometimes it hits too close to home and I can’t resist.
> 
> Kenma and Akaashi are mentioned, but don't actually get to appear in this one, unfortunately, but there is going to be a KageHinaKen fic coming your way soon ~~and by soon I mean eventually because I should know better by now than to promise things I haven't written yet....~~

Kuroo can remember a lot of things, if pressed. The birthdays of all his teammates and close friends, trivia about popular television shows, random dietary facts for Kenma’s favorite junk foods - the periodic table is one of his favorite party tricks to impress people. He can recall most of the important events of his life, too. Like the day he met Kenma, the day he met Bokuto, the day he started high school. The first match he played for Nekoma, the first match he played on a National court. But the time Bokuto came out to him is one of the memories he can recall with the most clarity.

 

_Bro, i need to tell u something_

The text had come through one night when they were still in middle school. It was after dinnertime, while Kuroo was working on homework before preparing for bed. He arched a brow at the text, but his phone buzzed again before he could respond and Kuroo found himself frowning at the screen with concern.

_im rly upset_

Kuroo went into protective mode and his slim fingers flew across the keys.  
**What’s wrong bro? Want me to call?**

_no dont my parents r in the room and its rly…  
its personal_

**What is it?**

_i trust u bro, so im telling u first and nobody else knows so pls dont say anything_  
_but its that i feel…different? like bad different_  
_i dont feel the same bout girls that other guys do…. thats bad right? idk_  
_but bro its like…. i dont want u to not be my friend anymore because i feel the way about guys that other guys feel about girls_  
_it feels so weird i dont know what to feel_  
_its embarassing for me bro_  
_but thats my secret and i was scared to tell u cuz ur my best friend bro and i dont want u to think im weird or gross and just leave_

The realization crept over him, that Bokuto was trusting him with something very new and scary for him. That Bokuto was gay, and that Kuroo was the first person he thought to tell. His chest constricted with emotion as he carefully tapped out a response.

 **Bro we’ve been friends for years. I’m not going anywhere.  
** **Who the fuck cares what people say? Your real friends will not care. You’re awesome no matter what and I’m happy you’re my best friend.**  
**There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. As a bro I’ll always stick by you. Nothing is wrong with you, or anybody else who’s gay.**

The conversation had carried on into the night, two middle school boys a few train stops apart, staring into the artificial glow of phone screens until the dark sky was beginning to lighten. Kuroo was telling the truth - he saw nothing at all wrong with being gay, and as they grew older and were exposed to other sexualities and orientations he accepted those with just as much ease.  
  
He even realized sometime in high school that he was pansexual, and revealed this to Bokuto with considerably less trepidation than the reckless owl had shown so many years before. He was met with more or less the same response he had offered up himself, and the matter soon passed into casual irrelevance.

  
 

It isn’t often that he gets introspective like this. Sure, Kuroo can remember lots of things. But mostly he just feeds his laissez-faire persona and rolls with the punches, takes things in stride and tries to be easygoing. But when the half-asleep voice murmurs, “What’s one of your favorite memories of us?” and the brush of lips against the shell of his ear sends a shiver down his spine, one memory in particular springs to mind.  
  
“I remember once,” he begins softly, his own voice still thick with sleep. It’s a slow morning for them, and the past half hour has just been spent kissing and cuddling and making ridiculously sappy eyes at each other. But he can’t resist teasing, “You sent me this text late at night, super self-conscious and awkward. Something about being gay and worried I’d hate you for it?”  
  
Bokuto slaps his arm. “Not funny.”  
  
“Yes funny,” Kuroo smirks, turning over to face golden eyes and a heavy pout. He kisses the pout sweetly, and rubs his fingers over the furrowed brow. “You’re always funny, Bo. And in retrospect, isn’t it silly to have worried about it?”  
  
“Sure, it’s silly _now_!” Bokuto admits. “But back then, I really thought you were like, some super cool, straight ladies’ man! I thought you might laugh at me, or maybe tell me there was something wrong with me, like I was afraid of myself.”  
  
“Hey, I _am_ super cool,” Kuroo protests, and Bokuto slaps him again.  
  
“You’re totally a nerd, Tetsu.” He’s trying not to admit that he’s feeling anxious about his old doubts, and Kuroo softens, melts away his lazy facade the way he always does when Bo gets worked up.  
  
He’s attentive and sweet with the erratic bundle of energy and mood swings that he fell in love with during their years together. “Anybody worth having in your life can see how beautiful you are, Koutaro. Being gay doesn’t change how you light up entire rooms, or how amazing you are on the volleyball court. You’re such a powerful ace.”  
  
“Stop it,” Bokuto flushes brightly, pulling his hands from Kuroo’s bare waist to cover his eyes. The other man finds the loss of contact disappointing, but right now he’s got an agenda.  
  
“Hey, you asked for a memory. I’m giving you more than one.” His smile curls mischievously as he pries sturdy hands away from pinked skin. “You’re a great friend, supportive and caring and loyal. You’re funny and goofy and we get into the best trouble together. Some of my favorite adventures were your ideas, Bo. Remember the last minute camping trip we took last summer?”  
  
“Oh no, not the one where we forgot to pack the tent poles -”  
  
“And it rained the whole time!” Kuroo grins. “But we had so much fun anyway, because we just cuddled under the tent like a tarp and then we went fishing the next morning.”  
  
“Akaashi and Kenma were so mad at us because we caught colds once we were home and could barely practice.”  
  
“I almost got Kenma to dress like a nurse for us, but they threw a shoe at my head when I teased about how small the skirt was.”  
  
“You so deserved it.”  
  
“I did.”  
  
They lapse into silence for a moment, warm smiles and fond memories in their eyes while they relax back into each other.  
  
“But my point, Koutaro. You’re still the same person whether you like boys, girls, both, neither, or people who don’t fit any of those titles. You’ve always been a reckless hothead who loves as hard as he lives.”  
  
“And you’ve always known just the right thing to say, Tetsu.” Bokuto smiles, rough fingertips sliding back into place along the smooth skin of Kuroo’s hip. “I think I always knew that. That there was something inside you that fit me just right, something I always needed.”  
  
The words are like a punch in the gut, a heavy sort of emotion that isn’t bad but is definitely overwhelming. “Fuuuuck,” he whines, and this time it’s his turn to bury his burning face in his palms. Bokuto laughs.  
  
“Well, that too. But I thought we were doing the sappy thing right now?”  
  
“You do it so rarely that it always fucks me up,” he groans accusatorially.  
  
“I’m….sorry?” The continued laughter kinda ruins the apology, and Kuroo tells him so. “Yeah,” his boyfriend admits. “But maybe I can make it up to you with breakfast?”  
  
Bokuto actually makes really good western style breakfast and his specialty is blueberry waffles, a dish that has become one of Kuroo’s favorite comfort foods.  
  
“Oh my god, Bo, if you make those waffles I’ll straight up suck your dick so hard.”  
  
“Bro, chill, you don’t gotta do that.” Bokuto grins, rolling his eyes. “I like to cook for you because it makes you happy.”  
  
“Makes me so happy I _want_ to suck your dick, bro.”  
  
“Well in _that_ case…”  
  
“Hey, you gotta make the food to be eligible for the reward babe.”  
  
Bo snorts. “Don’t call me babe unless we’re mid fuck.”  
  
“Whatever, _babe_.” Kuroo smirks, then shouts as he’s shoved from the warm bed to the cold floor.  
  
“Oh man, Tetsu. Looks like you’re gonna have to earn those waffles back.”  
  
“Booooooo,” Kuroo groans, “don’t do this to me babe.”  
  
“Wow, digging that hole _sooooo_ much deeper.” Bokuto clucks his tongue, peering over the edge of their bed with a predatory gleam in his bright eyes. “You’ll be lucky to get waffles anytime this month at this rate.”  
  
Kuroo flops hard onto his back, limbs falling in a spread-eagle. “This kills the man.”  
  
“I thought curiosity killed the cat?”  
  
“Tou-fucking-ché , Bo.”  
  
Kuroo can remember a lot of things, if pressed. But the sound of Bokuto’s laughter is something he’ll never need to recall, because the beautiful sound loops in his mind all the time and brings him joy. He hopes it will dominate the remainder of his days, because he has loved this foolish man since they were tiny boys first running circles around each other on a volleyball court. He’ll spend the rest of his life trying to keep a smile on those lips and in those eyes.  
  
And when Bokuto pounces off the bed and onto his chest, laughing, Kuroo thinks - not for the first time - that it’s going to be a hell of a lot of fun to do so.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is the first in a series of _very loosely_ connected drabbles. They're all Haikyuu!! and canon-compliant (more or less, because sometimes I bend things), and I consider them all part of the same universe, Verse A - we'll talk more about Verse B later. 
> 
> But the pairings are all over, they aren't in chronological order, and some are graphic while others aren't. Everything will be duly noted and tagged, of course. 
> 
> There's some IwaOi coming up, as well as AsaNoya, KageHinaKen, MatsuHana and DaiSuga. Other than that, who knows? Let's find out together~!


End file.
